I was getting ready for work yesterday. Make-up: check; hair: check; accidentally stolen earrings: check. As I go to put on my newly purchased Target shirt (a cute tank I've been eyeing for months, on sale for $9.oo) I realized something looked a little.... off. It's one of those shirts that's bunches at the neckline. However, the bunch on this one is noticeably to the far left. Not intentionally. I think this was you standard, run-of-the-mill case of Karma. Free earrings=defective shirt.
It's funny to have conversations with people about movies. We'll get on the topic of a movie that EVERYONE has seen and I've never seen any of them. People are usually shocked by this revelation. I think I need to change that. I think I'm going to make a list of movies that I haven't seen that I need to see. Maybe then I can keep up with movie conversations and kick some ass at those movie trivia games. Here are the movies that I've never seen. Feel free to add your suggestions:
Pulp Fiction
Schindler's List
Any of the Godfather's
Any of the Harry Potter's
Any of the Lord of the Rings
Boogie Nights
Citizen Kane
Any of the Silence of the Lamb's series... no.. I take that back... I saw the first one, that's it
The Shawshank Redemption
I saw one of the Star Wars... I don't even remember which one
Ok, we'll start with those. I'm sure someone will drop their jaw at me soon and I'll be able to add another one to my list. Yay for excuses to watch movies!
I accidentally stole a pair of earrings from Target today. It was totally an accident! When I got to the car and was unloading all of my junk, I realized the earrings were stuck at the bottom of the cart. They were under the 50 pound bag of dog food which was under the 50 pound bag of cat food. By the time I realized it I was already out at the 600th parking space in the 88 degree heat. I was sweaty from the gym and I was starving. They were 10 dollars. Come on... Maybe I'll give them an extra 10 dollars when I go back next week. Maybe this was my gift for the millions of dollars I've spent there over time :)
The funny thing is, I never steal anything. I feel pretty guilty about it.
I think I might be falling apart. First I broke my toe, and I'm fairly certain it will remain strange looking for the rest of my life. It looks nothing like it's matching toe on my right foot. I should upload a picture, but you might get scared. Not only does it look fat and sideways, but it still hurts every once in a while if I step on it wrong. Is it normal to still have pain in my toe? I broke it like 3 months ago! My brother told me that it will have pain for the rest of my life. He then let out an evil laugh. So, I'm thinking he as joking. I'm hoping he was joking. He's not a podiatrist, okay?
I went to the eye doctor the other day because I'm having to strain to see the computer screen at work. Preface... I've had perfect eyes my entire life, until I started my current job. Apparently, starring at a computer screen for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week isn't good for your vision. I'm sure the black computer screen with the 1980's neon green writing doesn't help much either. I went to the eye doctor a couple of years ago and they gave me some simple glasses to use while I'm on the computer and until recently I've only needed them occasionally.
This time when I go for my appointment the doctor seems concerned. Great! He wanted to do some additional tests and dilate my eyes because it appears that I may have Glaucoma. Umm... Pardon me? Yeah... those words came out of his mouth. Mind you, I'm 25 years old... not 75. So, we did some additional tests, turns out I DON'T have Glaucoma, but I'm am what they call a "Glaucoma suspect". I guess it means that out of the 3 red flags to look for in a Glaucoma patient, I demonstrate one of them. They said it was nothing to be worried about, they'll just keep an eye on it every year at my yearly exam. I must say, I never saw that one comin'!
Next up, my shoulder is still popping from my last car wreck. I don't think it will ever go away. The other day at work I kept track of how many times it popped (yes, I get bored at work). The final count was around 36 times. It's quite annoying.
And lastly in the list of my ailments, my tongue has an extremely swollen taste bud on it today. So much so that I thought I had a piece of food stuck on the back of my tongue. After scraping and picking at it, turns out it's attached. Now it hurts. How did this even happen! Go away.
You can see some strange things in this town. And I'm not just talking about when Santa-Cali-Gon rolls into town, I'm talking day in and day out. When I see people walking down the street I can't help but be curious about them. Why are you walking? Where are you going? What is that you're carrying?
The other day I was driving down the street when heading down the sidewalk towards me was an older man with a sweatband around his head. Typical. Just trying to get some fitness in. But as I got closer I saw he was carrying something. A water bottle? A sweat towel? Nope. He was carrying a tiny radio. Not a Walkman or an iPod. No sir. He was carrying a full-blown, antenna outstretched, coffee table radio. It made me smile.
A few days later I was passing by the local Wal-Mart, my favorite, and I saw another man carrying something strange. First of all, I usually feel bad when I see people leaving the store, especially the grocery store, walking home with all their loot. You could never buy ice cream, it wouldn't make the trip home. I digress... this particular man was walking crazy to begin with because he was trying to walk straight across a pretty steep, grassy hill. Not only this, but his balance was also jeopardized because in one had he was carrying a large, heavy looking box. As I passed, I got a close look at his special new purchase. A chainsaw. This man was walking, across the foot of a steep hill, with a giant chainsaw in a box. Never a dull moment.
My dad always told me I'd make a good children's author. He always told me that I should write a book. "That's how you'll get famous" he'd say. So maybe I should start on that...
I was thinking about children's books last night. As I was remembering my personal favorites (Sideways Stories From Wayside School, what what!) I realized that a lot of children's books are creepy. One of the books that I remember to this day is In a Dark, Dark Room and Other Scary Stories by Alvin Schwartz. I don't remember all of the scary stories in this book, but I do remember one called "The Green Ribbon". It's about a girl who wears a green ribbon around her neck. She never takes it off. Despite her husbands constant curiosity about the ribbon she refuses to remove it. Finally, she takes it off... and her head falls off. What in the world?! This is a children's book! Scary...
Next up we have the timeless story of Hansel and Gretel. Talk about a scary story! If telling kids a witch will put them in an oven and eat them doesn't keep your kids from running away, you must be doing something terribly wrong.
How about Jack and the Beanstalk? An innocent boy just wants to plant some bean seeds and ends up getting hassled by a giant beast man! Rapunzel, an imprisoned girl is used as a rope to hoist people up to her prison cell. And Goldilocks? Inappropriately scary.
Maybe my dad was trying to tell me that I frighten small children? Either way, I think I should get started on that book.
So, I'm watching this show on TLC called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". It's sort of like a train wreck. I really don't want to watch this, but it's so strange I can't change it. The program is pretty self-explanatory. It's a documentary following these women who didn't know they were pregnant, obviously.
I remember in high school I heard a story about a girl who had a baby without knowing she was pregnant and I thought, "what a joke." I'm a female and no, I have never been pregnant, but one would think it would be pretty obvious, right? Maybe I don't want to believe it, but I've heard several stories about girls getting pregnant while taking their birth control regularly. I don't know... I just can't believe it.
So, back to this show. First of all, almost every one of these stories is about a rather large woman not knowing she was pregnant. Well... that's a little more believable, but still. These people don't realize that they're not getting their monthly visit from Mother Nature? Let's pay a little more attention ladies.
This last story they just showed was about a 57-year-old woman who had a baby! Is that even remotely healthy!? What a strange sight to see.
I'm starting to wonder if these stories are even true. Are these producers doing their fact checking? Maybe when I have a child I can say I didn't know I was pregnant either and be on the show too. Nobody would know. I'll just say that I had eaten a lot of Chipotle, so I thought I had just packed on an extra 30 pounds. I forgot that I didn't have a period for the past 9 months. I was throwing up every morning and craving bacon wrapped pickles, but that's not weird, is it?
You can think he's crazy, you can call him names, but nobody can deny the amazing entertainer that was Michael Jackson. When I first heard the news of his death I naturally didn't believe it. He's always being gossiped about. "He's dead", "he's sick", "his face fell off", so I figured it was just another rumor. But when I finally saw the confirmation, I was surprised at how deeply it hit me.
I wasn't outright emotional. It wasn't like I lost a close friend or family member, it was kind of surreal. I felt kind of like a part of me was gone. Literally. You might think it's crazy because he's just some singer that I've never even met, but I have so many great memories that involve his music, videos and dance moves that it's hard to find an era of my life that didn't involve his music. It felt like I did know him. I felt like he had always been a part of my life.
You see, I was listening to Michael Jackson on vinyl before I was even born. My mom was a big fan and owned records all the way back to the Jackson 5. I'm pretty sure I learned how to use a record player with the Thriller album. That's not the only thing I learned either. I have so many memories of my brothers and me dancing to MJ from when we were tiny babies even up to today. I remember when I first saw his Dirty Diana video, I was in love... and I was probably 5 years old. When we got the Moonwalker movie on VHS I swear I watched it at least 3 times a week. If you haven't seen this movie and you're an MJ fan, watch it, it's great. Even if you're not a fan, you'll become one. You think it's a coincidence that the little girl's name in that movie was Katie? I think not.
Yes he had some crazy years in his life, but when you're forced to be an adult when your 5 years old I can't expect your life to be normal. We wanted him in the spotlight, we wanted him to be the superstar that he was, we didn't give him a chance to be a normal human being.
Despite all of the crazy things he did in his life, it's undeniable that he was an amazing entertainer. He's inspired so many people all over the world in such an intense way. Watching videos from his concerts, seeing his fans screaming, crying and literally fainting just at the meer sight of him standing on stage absolutely amazes me. I always held hope that he would decide to do one final tour in the U.S. I would have even settled for 1 single show in the U.S. I would have been there. The cost of the ticket wouldn't matter, I would have paid it. To witness him, live, giving it his all up there would have been worth every single penny. A live Michael Jackson moonwalk... I probably would have passed out too.
Sadly, since he's gone I won't be able to see him live. I'll have to cling to my Moonwalker VHS and my old tapes and CDs for now. He will live on through his legendary music and his unforgettable dance moves. There is no doubt that I will be a Michael Jackson fan for life.
"If you enter this world knowing you're loved & you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with" - M.J.
i'm just a sarcastic, silly clown trying to find my way in this crazy world. i have an opinion about everything, which usually translates into people thinking i'm rude, but they're probably just small-minded.
